When it comes to slowing down, does anyone else just not really understand what that means?!
Life has been pretty cruel the last couple weeks, which has had an affect on pretty much everything, mood, routine, business, parenthood and even friendships.
Talk about "Well when life gives you Lemons" sadly in this instance, no amount of gin would have made this situation okay, but it has meant a huge turning point in who I am.
For anyone who knows me well, sitting down and just "being" isn't me at all, I'm forever on the go, cramming as much as I can in and then being truly exhausted by the end of the week and to be honest, really not productive at all.
But recently, we sadly lost someone very close to us. This meant I came away from social media for a couple days, cancelled all classes and clients, to be with my little family, It was my turn to be the rock and to do what I could to be there.
During this time, it made us eternally grateful for parenthood, for almost having such a distraction with Izzy, she made us smile every day, made what really isn't a normal time, feel a little more normal. And even when we needed to cry, it's like she understood. Like she knew she had to comfort us.
I guess you could say, this was also a huge overwhelming feeling for me, having suffered with Post Natal Depression, I'm not afraid to admit I struggled with that connection, struggled with worrying that I wasn't doing enough for Izzy. And with everything that happened, it meant I had my first solo overnight with Izzy, just me and her, and wow, I panicked. I panicked I wouldn't cope looking after her, that I wouldn't wake in the night when she needed me, that I wouldn't be thinking straight, what if I couldn't give her what she needs?! It's really hard to explain that to someone in a text when I was saying to friends I was worried I wouldn't cope, but that was the reality.
The universe has clearly been sending the message to slow down for quite some time, and with what's happened, I feel like it's taken its chance to put its foot down and say, you need space to breathe. You need space to be creative again. You need space to make time for your family. And when people told me this, honestly, I wanted to scream, I'm stubborn - also has its downside, so I have to sometimes discover these things for myself. I don't know what slowing down is, they didn't teach this at school (not that I would have listened) but slowing down isn't in my blood. Having to cancel classes, having to accept time out has been hard, really hard. But I've managed to plan so many exciting things, and also do some work on me. But most importantly, I've had time to be with my family, and that time is precious.
So, my message to you is just take 5 minutes sometimes to be in the moment, life is to short and sometimes we take that for granted. Grab a hot drink, do a workout, feed the birds - do whatever slowing down means to you, but this Is your sign to do something for you.